Goodbye
by Trinity Kouya Hime-sama
Summary: Phoebe says goodbye to her lost loved ones. 3 Part story 1-Cole 2-Baby 3-Final Goodbye
1. Chapter 1

Phoebe brushed her hand over the plaque, brushing away the dust that had begun to cover it.

_Coleridge Benjamin Turner_

_Loving son, husband, father and friend_

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come. Once I had this put up here, I just couldn't actually face seeing it. I guess it was too real" Phoebe said wiping away a tear.

She looked over as the plaque with Cole's father's name. And she gave a half smile and said "I figured that even though I couldn't actually bury you, if you were anywhere it would be here."

She knelt down and leaned against the wall that Cole's plaque was on, just sitting for a moment, as though gathering her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, and that you couldn't save yourself. I don't know why, I don't know what happened. Maybe, maybe we just couldn't, because if there had been a way, we would have found it, because we sure did try so hard. We loved each other so much, didn't we? We were ready to face down the world for our love. I just don't know why it didn't work, maybe because of who we are, just another great perk to my great destiny. And maybe we just couldn't get around all your past evil, maybe it was not in our power. I have to believe that, I just can't face the idea that there might have been a way that we missed" Phoebe said now ignoring the tears flowing down her face.

"I just don't know what it means, but I know, I know this isn't it. This isn't the end, I promise you that. Next time we'll do it right, we'll make it. I know we'll have another chance. I just know it, and even though I don't know where you are now, I know that we'll still find a way to have another chance. And next time, next time I won't fail, next time I'll save you" Phoebe sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, for everything. For all the hateful things I said. But I love you; I still do, despite everything that happened. I forgive you and hope you've forgiven me. I love you Cole, and I always will" Phoebe said between tears.

Phoebe turned and reached into a bag that was sitting on the floor beside her. She reached in a pulled out a picture of the two of them, a framed photo, which she set up against the wall beneath the plaque.

"I know this picture meant the world to you, I think somehow it was an anchor to you, through all the times I rejected you, something to remind you of the good times. So I thought maybe you'd still want to have it with you. I went back to your place, I remembered this and I thought you should have it. I also found this" Phoebe said and pulled out a ring.

"I guess I'm not that surprised you held on to your wedding ring, but I almost expected it to have been on you. But I'm glad it was not, so now you can have it here" Phoebe said and set the ring down next to the picture.

"And I also brought this" Phoebe said and pulled out something folded up that seemed to be a silvery metallic material.

"Its one of the balloons that you gave me, when you found out I was pregnant. I kept them all, did you know? I thought you'd want it. I wish more than anything that we could have had that baby, I know you did too" Phoebe said and started to cry again.

"I'm sorry, that I did not come earlier, but today, well I just couldn't not come. Do you remember what today is? Two years ago today I finally accepted your marriage proposal. Funny, things were so good between us then. You were finally human, and we were so in love. It finally seemed like we were gonna make it. But I guess not. I considered bringing the engagement ring, but I couldn't bear to part with it, I'm sorry. I keep it in a drawer next to my bed, to remember all the good times. And I hope that these things will help you remember them too" Phoebe said crying.

Phoebe slowly got up, still crying and stood staring at the plaque. Finally she leaned over and kissed Cole's name.

"I love you baby, I'm so sorry and I hope that you finally found peace, you deserve it so much. Wait for me, will ya. I'll come back to you, someday, I promise." Phoebe said sobbing, and she blew a kiss towards the plaque.

At the foot of the stairs she turned and whispered "Goodbye my love."


	2. Chapter 2

"Sorry it's been so long" Phoebe said sadly, as she ran her fingers along the letters of Cole's name on the plaque.

Phoebe pulled out a blood red rose, and set it down on the floor, next to a dusty photo, a ring and a folded balloon. She slowly blew on the photo to remove the dust. "I brought this for you, you always loved to give me red roses, so I thought this time around I'd return the favor."

Then she stood up and run her fingers along a plaque located on the wall, below Cole's.

_Parker Coleridge Halliwell-Turner_

_Beloved Son_

"I figured you wouldn't mind sharing your spot with him" Phoebe said crying.

She pulled out of her bag a white rose, and lay it down next to the red.

"That one is for you, my baby boy. Funny how I did the same thing to him that I did to you, had the plaque put up and then couldn't make myself go see it. I had it put up on the day he was supposed to be born, and now on the day he would have been one, I finally come and see it" Phoebe said.

"I'm so sorry baby, I should have fought harder. And I know that at one point you were good, before I allowed that bitch seer to poison you. I'm so sorry; I'll never forgive myself for letting her take you. I guess that's why I didn't come till now, I didn't think I deserved to" Phoebe said crying.

"I hope that you don't mind the name Cole, we never got a chance to pick one out, but this was the one I had in mind. Parker, to carry one the P tradition and to proudly show he's a Halliwell. Coleridge after you, and Halliwell-Turner, because Halliwell's never give up their name" Phoebe said sadly.

"I brought some things for you baby, that I thought you should have" Phoebe said and took out a little blue outfit that had a moon and star on the front.

"I got this the day I found out I was pregnant with you, I saw it, and even though I was still somewhat unsure, I was excited and had to buy it" Phoebe said and lay it down next to the photo.

"I know I must come off as such a terrible mother, since I allowed you to be stolen from me. But despite how it seems, I did want you. I just didn't have the power to save you. I really was excited and did plan to keep you and raise you, even after Cole was gone. I remember playing Mozart for you, because I heard that was good for babies" Phoebe said softly.

"I also brought a couple pictures for you too, and for you Cole. I thought you'd both want them. Here is a picture Piper took, during the brief time I was pregnant, I'm not even showing, but I was pregnant. And here is the one ultrasound that I had done" Phoebe said and lay the pictures down.

"I brought two more things for you, any more than that and I thought I'd run out of room. Here is one of the teddy bears that Cole gave me the day he found out that I was pregnant" Phoebe said starting to cry again as she lay the teddy against the wall.

"And here is a blanket that I found, and had planned to give you" Phoebe said crying as she lay a small fluffy blue blanket, that had a P embroidered on it.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I wish more than anything that things hadn't turned out this way. That I could have had you, that we could be having a birthday party today instead of this. But I hope you know how much I love you, and I hope that wherever you are you are happy, and hopefully you are with Cole. I'm sure you are. I love you both. I miss you both." Phoebe said sobbing.

"I love you baby, Happy birthday. And Cole I love you, still. Look out for our baby. I know someday we'll all meet again. Till then, know I'm sorry, and that I love you" Phoebe said.

Phoebe walked to the stairs and once again turned and blew a kiss, first to Cole and then to her baby.

And as she walked out she whispered "Goodbye my darlings."


	3. Chapter 3

Phoebe slowly walked down the dark stairs and intered the quiet room, taking in the dust, and off to the side, the small pile of objects and dried flowers

Phoebe slowly walked down the dark stairs and entered the quiet room, taking in the dust, and off to the side, the small pile of objects and dried flowers. She slowly walked over to the corner.

"You must be angry with me. I meant to come back, but things got so busy and other things happened in my life, and I just couldn't face you guys. I wanted to come, but I had things to sort out" Phoebe told them softly.

Slowly she lowered herself to the ground, and sat cross-legged in front of the two plaques. She ran her fingers over the letters and brushed off the dust. She pulled out two roses, one red and one white.

"Guess this kinda feel like tradition" She said sadly and she put the roses down in front of the plaques.

"I feel so guilty coming here, that's why I couldn't' come before. I just couldn't do it, face you. But now, I just had to" Phoebe said and reached up, surprised to realize her cheeks were already wet.

"I got married. You might know that, but I had to say it. He is a good man, I don't actually think you'd like him Cole; he's too kind and gentle for you to get along with. He makes even Leo look tough" Phoebe said laughing.

"But he's good to me, and he loves me. And I love him. It will never be like with you, you are my soul mate. But I do love him, as much as I can. And I am happy."

Phoebe shifted uncomfortably and then said "And I'm pregnant. Which I'm thrilled about, I've been wanting a baby for so long, dreaming of it. It's a girl, or it will be." Phoebe told them.

"But for a long time I felt like I was betraying you. As I fell in love with him I had to do a lot of thinking, and decision making. Some part of me did not want to ever get married and do this all again. Some part of me wanted you to always be the only one, but at the same time, another part of me knew that I can't do that. I've been having premonitions of me having a little girl for a long time now, that's one of the reasons I did not come. I knew that I was apparently going to have another child, and I wanted it and felt bad about that, and so I couldn't make myself come. For so long, you guys meant everything to me, I held you in my heart and lived on that. But I was still lonely, and I feel bad that I was. I hope you can forgive me. But I've been so lonely, and I really wanted to have a family. Of course some part of me will always wish that it was with you two, but that's impossible. So I have to try this, I need to try living in the present. But that doesn't mean I don't still love you both. I do. Cole you will always be my soul mate, and my one true love. Nothing and no one will ever change that or get between us in that. But in this life you are gone and I have to live on. And my baby, Parker, you will always be my first child, my little boy. I hope that you're okay with my giving you a sister. Someday I'll tell her about you; I want her to know about her older brother." Phoebe smiled.

"It took me awhile to make my peace with this all, and I had a long talk with Coop before I married him. I told him that he would never be able to be my one true love or soul mate, and that I would marry him and wanted to marry him, but only if he knew and accepted that. And he did, he loves me very much. I know he will be a wonderful father. I really do love him, in a totally different way than I ever loved you Cole, less of a passionate soul mate forever love, more of a family love, he is a husband and father and I love him for that. I hope that you won't view this as a betrayal, no, I know you won't. You love me, I know that you wouldn't want me to be alone and unhappy."

"I have to go now, I'm meeting Coop and we are going to the doctors. I can't come back here again. I need to live in the present, to accept this life I've chosen. It wouldn't be fair to Coop or our daughter if I just keep coming here and trying to live both lives at once."

Phoebe got up, and leaned over to kiss both plaques. "I love you both, and I just know that in the next life we will get our chance. Until then, this will just have to tide me over. I love you both more than anything in the world, I hope you always know that."

Phoebe slowly walked to the steps, and turned back and whispered, tears flowing down her face. "Until our next life, know that I love you."

A sad smile crossed her face and she finally whispered "Goodbye my loves."


End file.
